Giving Up Things For You is My Job
by CompassionAndCaring
Summary: Four years ago, a car crash killed their mother Mary. Both brothers and their father survived, but the impact caused massive head trauma to Dean, giving him permanent brain damage. This is the story of how two brothers live their dysfunctional lives. I'm not to good at summaries, sorry! Also, somewhat OOC Dean.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Supernatural or its characters. Warnings for bullying/ableism in this! **

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Sam loved his brother to the end of the Earth, and would go to hell and back for him. After all they've been through, it was hard not to love his sweet, fragile, over-protective older brother.

Their dad wasn't around much, usually away on business or with Bobby. Sometimes he'd be gone for days, but with Bobby checking in on them frequently and Sam's forced maturity, both Winchesters were fine.

School here was a bit rough, everyone in town knew about Dean, and deemed Sam as 'the retard's brother'. Usually people left Sam alone...but there was always that one occasional bully that would torture Sam for a few weeks before moving on. But Sam focused on school, constantly being at the top of his class and studying for hours if he could. He wanted to become a lawyer, and then with his money he could buy a house for him and Dean to live in.

Tonight so far consisted of an absent father and a pile of homework. As much as Sam liked being in high school, he didn't particularly like the boatloads of work that came with it. But the sooner he got it done, the more time he could spend with Dean, who was dividing his attention between staring hopefully at Sam across the kitchen table, begging for attention, or unconsciously playing with his toy cars.

"Sammy, look! Baby is winning the race," Dean exclaimed, driving the smaller replica of John's '67 Impala to the invisible finish line, beating the unmoving toy fire truck a few inches away. Dean loved their dad's car, calling it 'Baby' respectively and sometimes he would watch John do repairs on it.

Prying his eyes off his math homework, Sam smiled at Dean, giving him the attention and approval Dean wanted and needed, "Awesome." Dean giggled, green eyes sparkling with love and innocence. Sam felt his heart tug a bit, but looked away and tried to direct his attention back to the calculus he was working on, before Dean spoke again.

"Can I help, Sammy? It looks really hard."

Sam smiled and shook his head, "No. It's alright, Dean. Just go back to your cars. Try and see who's going to win this time."

Dean nodded, and went back to his race, making the appropriate noises of screeching tires and the roar of an engine. Sam was going to remind Dean of using his inside voice, but decided not to, since his older brother looked so happy off in his own little world.

In the past five years since the car accident that killed their mom and left Dean like this, Sam grew to know more about him then John, Bobby, and Dean himself combined. When Sam first realized that Dean would forever be a child in a man's body, he quickly accepted the caretaker/brother role.

At first he was furious, knowing that his amazing brother would never be able to have the life he deserved. But he calmed down, knowing that being angry at the world would get him nowhere.

The damage inflicted on Dean rendered him mental capacity of a six-year-old, or at least that's what Sam remembered the doctor tell him and John that night after the accident. His whole personality was childish: too trusting, and too friendly.

That wouldn't bother Sam as much if he didn't know how many people out there would take advantage of Dean's condition and hurt him. So Sam had made Dean promise to never talk to strangers and always be careful. Always.

But that didn't mean much, since Dean never really went anywhere except the grocery store, the backyard behind their house, or Bobby's house and scrap yard. And even then Sam was with him, since Dean tended to get lost quite a bit or would stumble over something on his uncoordinated legs.

That was another thing, the head injury affected Dean's fine motor skills. Walking was a challenge often, Dean's legs were shaky and wobbled a lot. After many falls and scraped knees, he learned to stop running, unless he was excited about something or absolutely had to. He would never want to bother Sam when he toppled over, saying 'It okay, Sammy. I getting up.'

Sam likes to think a small part of Dean is unaffected by it all. Even though that may not be possible.

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**I don't really know on whether or not to just keep this as a one-shot or whatever. Or maybe make it a multi-chapter fic. Or just a series of oneshots surrounding this AU. Tell me what you'd guys like in the comment/review section please! Thank you! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you Guest Sarah for your review! Also I'd like to thank those of you who followed this story! It means a lot. I do love writing this story so far and I'm glad you like it too! Rate and review please!**

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It took about two hours for Sam to finish his homework, and he felt a bit horrible for making Dean wait so long for his undivided attention. But Sam knew that if he didn't get his work done now he never would. And the last thing Sam needed was a detention or a bad grade.

Packing his papers into his backpack, Sam looked up at Dean, who was now sitting absently, staring at his hands, looking slightly lost. Sam again felt his heart tug a bit, feeling that strange sensation of almost drowning whenever he saw Dean like this. Like he just couldn't get out no matter how hard he tried. Looking at the clock, and noticing it was about five, Sam decided that he should get dinner started. He usually cooked for his family, and admittedly he was pretty good.

But that's what you get with lots of practice. Dean couldn't, obviously, also even if he wasn't completely...damaged, he probably wouldn't do it all the time anyways. John never cooked, and they would have pizza or chinese take out on the days he was home.

And being the health nut that Sam was, he didn't really like eating greasy foods constantly, and took up the role as the cook. Dean liked to call what Sam made 'rabbit food' since it usually consisted of fruits and vegetables.

Getting up from the table, Sam peered into the cupboards, not finding much. He would have to go shopping soon, which he dreaded, since he'd usually have to bring along Dean. And as much as he loved his brother, he could be a real pain. Either that or someone would say something.

"Hey, bud. What do you want for dinner?" Sam doesn't even need to look behind him to know that Dean is screwing up his face in concentration, thinking and deciding things were sometimes hard for him, and Sam never pushed it.

"Burgers, Sammy. Please?" Turning around, Sam saw that Dean stared up at him with wide eyes that even he knew that Sam could never say no to.

Sam smiled, "Sure, man." Dean cheered and Sam couldn't help but laugh, he sounded so happy over something so little.

Pulling the raw hamburger out of the fridge and deeming it edible, Sam started to make dinner, also putting some fries into the oven. Sure he didn't really like how there were little to no vegetables or anything healthy so far, but it was for Dean. Sam could just make him eat something better tomorrow. Maybe.

As Sam made dinner, Dean told him all about what happened today while Sam was at school. As much as Sam hated leaving Dean, he had to. He knew that their Dad would be furious if Sam skipped school. Sometimes Bobby could come and stay over to watch Dean but he had his own life too. At school during class Sam could _picture _something bad happening to Dean, as if he'd fall or cut himself on something. Or what if he went outside and got lost in the woods out back? Thinking like this caused anxiety daily for the youngest Winchester.

He had thought about maybe...hiring someone to watch Dean, but he didn't have much money. And they probably wouldn't know what to do when Dean had one of his moods or if anything else happened.

Christmas break was coming up soon, and then Sam could watch Dean and stay with him. To be honest, Sam couldn't wait, he loved Christmas and being away from school sounded wonderful. He didn't know what kind of present he should get for Dean, maybe another toy or something for his room. Either having to do with cars or superheroes, Dean seemed to love that kind of junk.

_Maybe I'll take him out tomorrow, you know...it is almost his favorite holiday after all. He deserves it, we both do, _Sam thought, smiling to himself.

"And then Sammy, I went outside and I saw this bird in the trees. It was really pretty and blue! I tripped on a tree root and fell, but I okay," Dean told him excitedly, eyes bright. Sam froze when he said 'fell' but he didn't press the issue, knowing that Dean really was alright. Every morning before Sam went to school he'd make sure Dean had food to eat in the fridge and knew that he was going to be gone for several hours.

When Sam first started high school Dean had no idea where Sam was and cried for hours. Coming home to a teary-eyed older brother who also had soaking wet clothes from trying to find you outside in the rain is never the best experience for either parties. John wasn't home that day and Dean didn't know how to use the phone to call Bobby. It took Sam two hours to finally calm Dean down and tell him that he would never leave. Ever.

While pulling the fries out of the oven and putting the burgers together, Sam informed, "Dinner's ready, bud. Wash your hands, okay?" Nodding fiercely, Dean ambled over to the bathroom, his legs shaky from sitting down. Hearing the sink turn on and laughter coming from Dean poking the bubbles of soap on his hands, Sam felt like he could really get used to this everyday if need be.

Really, all they needed was each other.

Dinner passed by uneventfully, meaningless chatter and loud chewing the only things you could hear. Wiping the ketchup smeared on Dean's face with a napkin, Sam could help but chuckle, he looked downright adorable.

Dean squirmed in protest, "Nooooo, Sammy." Relenting, Sam rolled his eyes, "Okay. But remember Dean, after we clean up, you and I can do whatever you want for a bit but _then, _you have to take a bath." Dean started to whine but stopped. He knew that doing that would only make it worse.

Cleaning up the table and putting the dishes in the sink, Sam made Dean return to the bathroom to go and also wash his sticky hands again. Once Dean got out of the bathroom and dried his hands, Sam asked, "What do ya want to do?" Dean thought about it for a bit, before lighting up and whispering excitedly, "Can we go outside?"

Sam smiled and nodded, "Sure. Anything you want." Dean squealed happily and went over to hug Sam, "Thanks, Sammy." Letting go and tugging his arm, Dean led Sam out of the house and into the backyard, the grass looking dark in the evening light.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so, so sorry for the long wait! Writer's block hit and I couldn't do anything for a while to make it go away. But anyways, enough moping and thank you for the reviews and even more follows! It means a lot, even though I've already said that before. Anyways, here's another chapter and review please and tell me what you think! **

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"Dean! Where are you?" Sam called out frantically into the night, only ten minutes of being outside and Sam already lost him. They were going to just pass a ball around a bit at first, but Dean must have seen something and just..._left._ The setting sun didn't help at all, the fading light making everything outside slightly blurred and misshapen. Even though it was early December, it surprisingly wasn't very cold in Kansas, only cool. So if Dean was really lost, Sam had the small and depressing comfort that at least he wouldn't freeze to death.

_Hopefully,_ Sam thought.

Panic and fear settled in, and Sam searched everywhere near him. Maybe he was overreacting, but who knows what could happen? Their backyard was huge, the woods were dark and ominous, and Dean had a large fondness for walking through them to explore. Sam had no idea where Dean could have gone off to. He couldn't have gone far, since his legs were still wobbly from sitting down for so long., and even then they always were. Sam was on the verge of going into the forest to go find his older brother...

Until a voice that was now music to Sam's ears called back, "Sammy, I over here!" Breathing a sigh of relief and muttering, "Thank God." Sam rushed over to the far edge of the yard to see Dean sitting cross-legged on the grass, bright green eyes gazing up at the treetops, looking for something. Sam sat down next to his brother, and tried to figure out what caught his attention so badly.

"Dean, you know you have to stay near me...right? I was worried sick," Sam huffed, annoyed that Dean hadn't listened to him at all. Dean turned his head to look at Sam and smiled sweetly, apparently not hearing what he said.

Tugging on Sam's arm, Dean pointed at the trees and whispered, "Look at the birds, Sammy! There's a blue one...and a gray one." Squinting his eyes, Sam could see the faint outline of two birds perched in the highest branches. Sam was amazed that Dean could see what colors they were, and silently praised him.

The two brothers sat in silence for a few minutes, before Sam broke it, "Dean...you know that I have to keep an eye on you. I don't want you gettin' lost...okay?" Sam made sure to add a firm tone at the end of his sentence, knowing that otherwise Dean wouldn't listen to him.

Staring at his brother with blank eyes, Dean blinked and nodded, smiling the whole time, which as of lately he seemed to do a lot. Not that it was a bad thing.

"Okay, Sammy. But I have to keep an eye on you...like I supposed to. You're my lil' brother," he mumbled happily, as if there was nothing else in the world more important. Poking Sam hard in the chest, Dean erupted in a fit of giggles and covered his mouth with his hands to muffle the noise. Sam couldn't help but grin, the sight was so..._cute?_ He didn't know what else to call it.

They sat, watching the birds in the trees for a little while, the only sounds were the quiet breeze and the occasional bark from the neighbor's dog. The sun finally went down below the horizon and Sam thought it was time to head back inside, the original plan of him and Dean throwing a ball around now gone.

Pulling himself up to stand, Sam wiped the dirt and grass off his jeans before extending a hand out for Dean to grab hold of. It took Dean a few minutes to notice the hand held out for him, since he continued to gaze up at the trees like something brilliant and amazing would come out.

Sam pulled Dean off the ground, making sure to put his free hand on Dean's back to steady him. Legs even more wobbly then before, it took his older brother a long while to get his feet right on the ground. Sam gave a sad smile and heart sink, seeing how hard it was for Dean, even though his brother didn't seem to be bothered by it.

"Ready, Dean? Free time's over, and now you got to get ready for a bath," Sam stated, making sure Dean was paying attention to what he said.

Dean huffed, "Alright..." Giving him a reassuring smile, Sam lead Dean back inside the house, internally glad that Dean hadn't resisted getting clean.

Bath time wasn't entirely horrible...except for when Sam had accidentally gotten soap in Dean's eyes, making him irritable and teary-eyed. But there had been worse occasions when Sam literally had to push Dean into the tub and force him to sit still.

After getting Dean washed up and clean, Sam made sure that he used the toilet before he got dressed so he wouldn't forget later. Also to brush his teeth, letting Dean this time gargle the mouthwash. Since Sam had helped Dean with bathing himself and other things, he wasn't bothered by seeing him naked. Sure sometimes Sam got embarrassed, but he knew that really there was no other choice.

Drying the remaining water off of Dean with a fluffy towel, Sam grabbed the sleep t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms that he picked out earlier and handed them over. Five minutes later, Dean was fully dressed and ready to go to bed. Drying his hair and spiking it up in the front just the way he liked, Sam grinned widely, proud of his work. Eyes blinking heavily, trying to stay open but failing, Sam was sure it was bedtime for Dean.

"Come on, you gotta get into bed now," Sam told Dean affectionately. Pushing him gently with little protest from Dean, Sam got him into his bedroom and into his bed. Wrapping the blanket around his body and tucking him in, Sam made sure to say good night before shutting off the lights, cloaking the room in shadow.

"Night, Dean. See ya in the morning."

Dean yawned, "Night, Sammy."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews! Warnings for emotional and physical abuse in this chapter. I'm sorry for the lack of plot really in the first three chapters. Just trying to figure out what to do so far. This chapter is in two parts! Side note: Sam is 17 in this fic and Dean is 21, just in case you were wondering. I do not own Supernatural or its characters.**

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Rubbing away the disgusting crust around his eyes from sleep, Sam yawned and stretched his upper body. His eyes felt bleary and heavy. Shaking his head and running a hand through his hair, Sam thought it would be best to probably get his ass out of bed. He had a long day ahead of him, filled with taking care of his brother and who knows what other things fate had in store for him.

Faint light filtered through the gray curtains hanging in front of the small, albeit grimy windows of his room. About the half the size of an average bedroom, Sam didn't really have much space to move around in, which ultimately didn't help the fact that he was still in that awkward teen stage where his limbs didn't quite fit his body.

Originally he did have the larger room, but he had given it to Dean, knowing that his brother possessed more things. Also, having more open room created less of a chance of Dean walking into a dresser, or any other hard/solid piece of furniture.

It was Saturday morning, meaning no school and the opportunity to be somewhat free. Sam's alarm clock read seven-thirty in the morning, and he huffed, thinking it was far later than that. Rummaging his hand through his clean laundry basket, Sam quickly shrugged on a t-shirt that seemed fresh before opening the door and leaving his room, closing the door with a soft _click. _

The narrow upstairs hallway was dim, with two doors opened and the other two closed. Sam and Dean's room where the only ones closed, leaving the bathroom and their father's room. John was rarely ever in there, as it reminded him of Mary.

Midway last night Sam had heard someone stumble downstairs, knowing that it was their dad, probably back from work and a late-night journey of drinking. Work and alcohol were John Winchester's favorite things, and his sons knew that to heart.

Usually their dad wasn't violent...but there definitely were his moments. Still sporting a bruise on his left cheek from a few nights ago, Sam tried to cover it up as much as possible to avoid suspicion. He only ever hit Sam, never Dean.

But that didn't stop him from throwing a few punches of his own.

While Sam got the physical bit, Dean got the verbal one. All of their father's anger just seemed to burn into hits and screams. His youngest son wouldn't be able to count all the times John had called his eldest son a "useless piece of shit","a fully-grown child", or his favorite "you're the reason I'm like this"...among other things.

Sam always tried to defend Dean to his fullest extent, but when you're being hit over and over and screamed at...it's hard to stand strong. Those nights always ended up in a stream of "I'm sorry's" and their dad passing out on the couch. Leaving his youngest with a crying older brother who couldn't defend himself, John just slept the night away. Consoling his brother as much as he could, Sam always took account for the emotional damage that just happened.

_'m I really all those things Dad said, Sammy? _

_God no, you're special Dean...more than he'll ever know. _

_I special?_

_Of course, inside 'n out. Don't worry, just go to bed. _

_Night night, Sammy._

_Night, Dean._

That conversation imprinted itself into Sam's head, replaying itself sometimes, the voices clear as if it was just happening. And it probably would, as long as both Winchester sons stayed in that house with their father.

After high school, Sam was going to go to college and take Dean with him. He'd get a job and study law, like he wanted to. Everything would be okay.

It'd just take time.

Entering Dean's room, right next to Sam's, he flicked on the lights, making the room awfully bright and burning Sam's eyes. Blinking several times, he managed to get them feeling normal again. Waking up usually wasn't a challenge for Dean, as long as he was willing to do so.

Dean's bedroom consisted of four windows; one on each wall, draped with old gray curtains. A twin bed was pushed into the upper left corner, with a form buried in blankets on top. His closet, filled with his clothes, stood in the opposite corner from the bed. Then, last but not least, a large cardboard box served as a place for Dean to put his toys in sat in front of his bed, making for easy grabs.

Seeing from the doorway what the bundled form's chest would be, rising and falling with each breath, Sam couldn't help but smile at how Dean looked so innocent and untouched in his sleep.

Padding to the side of the bed, Sam gently shook the pile of the blankets, hoping that by doing this he wouldn't deplete Dean's usual cheery and lovable mood to something bad. Dean liked his sleep...sometimes.

A loud groan emitted from the top of the bed and filled the room, and Sam couldn't help but laugh a bit. He'd probably do the same thing if the roles were reversed. Just shaking his older brother wasn't going to wake him up, Sam had to be more persistent.

"Five more minutes, 'Ammy..." the blankets mumbled, and the voice from them sounded so..._real _and so unlike the childish speech and tone Dean usually used. And Sam wanted to hear it over and over again until he couldn't anymore, but it didn't come. But Sam didn't let that get to him, he couldn't, holding on to something that would almost never happen again wasn't realistic, and was pointless.

Poking Dean's shoulder, Sam whispered, "Come on, Dean. Time to get up." Making a softer noise of displeasure, Dean's head poked itself out of the cocoon of blankets he somehow made himself. His dark brown hair was tousled and the trademark bed head look, making the slight gold tone of it show. Slowly sitting up, his legs moving sluggishly with little coordination and hanging limply off the bed.

Rubbing his eyes with his fists, like a sleepy child would, Dean whined, "Sammy, why you wake me up? It early."

Sam smirked, and rolled his eyes playfully, "Well...I thought...maybe we could go out for breakfast, then go Christmas shopping. It's only a week and a half till then. So...why not?" Sam knew that Dean would do anything that had to do with food, he knew that like the back of his hand. This also gave the opportunity for Sam to get something for Dean, knowing that he could easily hide it in the cart.

It took a minute or so for the info to process in Dean's brain, but when it did, Sam was sure that he would never see a brighter smile in his entire life. Green orbs shone with love and happiness, and Sam wish he had a camera with him. The dopey grin spread on Dean's face made the corner of his eyes crinkle, only adding to it all.

Dean cheered, "Awesome!" He jumped off his bed, gaining his balance by shifting his face before hobbling as fast as he could in his pajamas out the door to the bedroom to wash up, "Come on, Sammy! We got to get goin'!"

Laughing and heading in Dean's direction, Sam called back, "Wait for me!"

Today so far was perfect, and it was only the start.


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